with Blueriverdream in February

Heavy handed, heavy heart
heavy In The Name of Art

​Make myself another deity
one that sits with me agreeably
one that questions not my decency
one that might respect my regency

Is it so much to end this agony? 
(such a fruitless waste of energy)
Calm my fears and quell anxiety, 
ask me not for full propriety.

One day I will disappear.
I am a fool to waste these years.
Ghostly, turn me inside out,
take away these fearful doubts.
Let me sing and let me shout,
let me thrust my demons out!
Let me call them by their name:
useless guilt and useless shame
When my insides I untangle,
​may I heal instead of mangle.